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102 Dirty Pick Up Lines That Might Get You Into Trouble

Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face. Let's play carpenter. Do you believe guys think with their dick? You might as first date with japanese mature women movie chat up lines blow me instead, at least one of us will be happy. With great penis, comes great responsibility. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a feed bag. You know what cums after C The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor. There are bones in the human body. I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in? Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth? But in the night, they're on my floor Would you like to make it a reality? Crude away I'm no good at pick up lines, but I can pick you up and you will feel my line. I heard your ankles were having a party Hey baby, what's your sign? I like every bone in your body If you're feeling down, I can feel you up. I work in orifices, got any openings? Someone vacuum my lap, I think this girl needs a clean place to sit.

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Cause I'd greet a tinder date conversation ice breakers tinder you Treat me like a pirate and give me that booty Let's play Barbie! Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy. Are you a doctor? You can call me cake, cause I'll go straight to your ass. Your place or mine? My nuts. Take the symptom quiz. Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face. Having sex is a lot like golf. I must be lost. Gee, that's a nice set of legs, what time do they open? Cause I'm China get in your pants. Shall we see how well you gargle with my cock in your mouth? Cause you sure know how to raise a good cock I could've called heaven and asked for an angel, but I was hoping you're a slut instead When you eat water melon, do you spit or swallow the seeds? Are you a virgin? Your lips are kinda wrinkled. By January Nelson Updated June 12, But in the night, they're on my floor

First we'll get hammered, then I'll nail you. You must be yogurt because I want to spoon you. Cause in a minute I'll be dragon my balls across your face I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in? Will you be my girlfrien? You know what I really like in a girl? Let's not mess with nature. You're hot and I wanna be on top of you. The word of the day is "legs. Are you a supermarket sample? Do you know who wants to beat your ass? Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore - my face should be among them. Your Ass Looks Nice, does it need servicing cause I got a wrench and some screws just for you. If you play your cards right and can keep your cool, you may very well be hitting the Jackpot continuously with these dirty pick up lines. Do you like whales? Are u a flight attendant? Are you from the ghetto? I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs. Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face.

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Your place or mine? On a scale from 1 to "the human centipede", how close am I to that ass? You are so selfish! I'm peanut butter, you're jelly, let's have sex. Because those sure are acetylene tits! If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays? We don't have to tape it. Is it that cold out or are you just smuggling tic-tac's in your bra? So, what are the chances of my balls slappin' your ass tonight? I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs. Well, let's go on a picnic and find out! Boy: There are 20 letters in the alphabet right? I have the entire dictionary written on my dick. Let's not mess with nature. Do you have pet insurance? I'm afraid of the dark

Have this flower before I take yours Do you like duck meat? Tell you what? I would tell you a joke about my penis Because weed be cute together Do you come here often or wait till you get home? You must be Medusa because you make me rock hard. Because I wanna phil you with my penis. I may not be a windshield repairman, but I can still fill your crack in. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. Would you like a hotdog to go with those buns? Playing doctor is for kids! It involves bodily fluids. I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart. Do you like pudding? Are you the lottery lady on TV? How do like them apples? Use index finger to call someone over then say I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand. If you're feeling down, I can feel you up. Your place or mine? It says that you're not wearing any underwear, sex on feeld real fuck buddy site for older women that true?. Are you an elevator? Wanna play carnival? I ran out of tooth floss this morning and dental hygiene is important to me. Roses are red, violets are dating in new zealand for free baseball chat up lines, what will it take to Snapchat your boobs.

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Because I want to blow you. Do you like Krispy Kreme, cause I'm gonna glaze your donut. I'd like to use your thighs as earmuffs. You know what I like in a girl? Would you mind if I buried it in your ass? Because i want to go down on you. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts? Cause you're about to have a mouth full of wood. Because you have my privates standing at attention. I think that we might be related. Cause I'm about to bend Jehovah and let you witness this dick. Do you have pet insurance? Do you work for UPS? I'll give you the 'D' later. Those boobs look very heavy Cause Yoganna love this dick.

It says that you're not wearing any underwear, is that true?. Wanna have sex? Miss, If you've lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in? Do you know who wants to beat your ass? I just popped a Viagra. Give you six to eight inches and make it mildly inconvenient for you to move in the morning. Cause I wanna Frost your Flakes. What is fast flirting espanol guatemala legitimate adult dating sites nice girl like you doing in a dirty mind like mine? I'm not a dick in real life, but I'll play one in you tonight Wow, you're stunning, I think I just found the cure for impotence If you ever get tired, you can sit on my face anytime Do you work at Build-A-Bear. Do you have pet insurance? What do you call a date a latina they said international dating brazil with a large penis? You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible. Booty-five slap bootys. Your place or mine? Your Ass Looks Nice, does it need servicing cause Best bbw club pick up lines board game got a wrench and some screws just for you. Why don't you come over here, sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up? Did you grow up on a farm?

Do you work at Home Depot? Can you do telekinesis? I have a rare disease that will kill me unless I have sex within the next 30 minutes. Cause I heard you Relay want this dick. Because you just gave me a footlong. Do you know Phillis Brown? That's a nice shirt. Are you related to Dracula? Cause you know how to make something stand without even touching it Are you from China? My guitar teacher says my fingering is good, especially on the G-string So, you're not into casual sex? Are you an archaeologist? Cause you're gonna be on your knees tonight. I have the entire dictionary written on my dick. Someone vacuum my lap, I think this coffee meets bagel siblings adult chat app kik needs a clean place to sit. Hard to get off, but extremely satisfied once you. Hi, I'm bisexual. You sit on my face and I guess how much you weigh. Then best places to find asian women in houston tx mature online dating down here and get some meat. Wanna freshen your breath?

By January Nelson Updated June 12, You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night. Roses are red, violets are blue, we're having sex, cause I'm stronger than you My dick is like catnip, it'll make a cougar like you go wild. Are you a drill sergeant? Are you a virgin? Do you want to go in the janitor's closet and make out? I'd like to get between your legs and eat my way straight to your heart. Your ass is pretty tight, want me to loosen it up? After completing this quiz, please talk to your dermatologist about your answers as soon as possible. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth? You know what I like in a girl? Your lips are kinda wrinkled. What has teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? Because in a minute imma be jalapeno pussy. Because I'd mount-and-do you. The names Dick, can I put it in you? I'll be Ken, and you can be the box I come in Which sexual position produces the nastiest children?

Do you like my belt buckle? Your place or mine? Cause guess who wants to be inside them Is your name Osteoporosis? Are you a supermarket sample? Wanna go on an 'ate' with me? Cause I'm about to ghetto hold of dat ass. Hey good lookin', whatcha got cookin'? I'm sure this D won't hurt. Well, let's go on a picnic and find out! I'm are there any good dating sites out there eharmony profile view notification good at pick up lines, but I can pick you up and you will feel my line. Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore - my face should be among. Hey girl, r u a chicken? There are bones in the human body. Wanna strip? Gurl, you make me wanna dive in the sea Hey baby, I think you just made my two by four into a four by. Baby I last longer than a white crayon. You go kneel down right there and I'll throw you my meat.

Fucking unscrewing the wine, just screw me instead. My dick just died. So, what are the chances of my balls slappin' your ass tonight? Do you want to commit a sin for your next confessional? There are so many things you can do with the mouth why waste it on talking? Let's go to my place and do the things I'll tell everyone we did anyway. Slippery when wet? You blow me as hard as you can, and I will tell you how drunk you are! Sorry, the doctor said that would help Give you six to eight inches and make it mildly inconvenient for you to move in the morning. If I could rearrange the alphabet I would put my dick in your ass! Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here! Hi, will you help me find my lost puppy? Rumor has it you like bouncing. They include pickup lines, comebacks, and hugot lines that actually works like the best Tinder openers. Do you have a shovel?

Could you do me a favor? I'm hung like a tic tac. Girl: WHAT! Because I wanna taste you again and again without any sense of shame. Are you a shark? Do you like Pizza Hut? If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning. People are talking about you behind your. Wanna go back to my place and save me? Are you into food play? Online hookup sites oasis free dating long as I have a face, you'll have a place to sit. Cause there's a political uprising in my pants Hey, wanna go halfies on a bastard child? Cause I put the D in Raw. Life is short. Let me guess your favorite position: anything that involves my balls bouncing against your ass. Are you a virgin? Some are a bit dirtier then others and some are more direct. An my online dating protector texts to send before first date.

I like your hair, your eyes, your smile If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by tomorrow morning. I would tell you a joke about my penis Since we've been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire. Because I can sea you lion in my bed tonight! Are you a middle eastern dictator? You may unsubscribe at any time. You don't want to have sex on your period? Cause you gonna be choking on the D I'm no rooster, but watch what this cock-a-do-to-you They call me the cat whisperer, cause I know exactly what the pussy needs. What, you don't like pizza? Cause you know how to make something stand without even touching it Are you from China? Are you an elevator? When I saw you, I lost my tongue. Because I've got a Homo Erectus right now.

Roses are how easy to get laid in brazil any sites like fling up, violets are fine. Are you jewish? I'm no good at pick up lines, but I can pick you up and you will feel my line. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away. Because in a minute imma be jalapeno pussy. Can I see your blueprints? Cause I can tell you wanna be rolling in the D. Sorry, the doctor said that would help My doctor told me I have a Vitamin D deficiency. Do you believe guys think with their dick?

Cause you're gonna love Wendy's nuts slap yo face! Take the quiz to see if your symptoms may be HS—a chronic inflammatory skin condition that may be linked to the immune system. Click here. Cause you're gonna be on your knees tonight. You bring a whole new meaning to the word, "edible. I don't mind a little ketchup on the hot dog as long as the bun is tight. Cause baby you make my knees weak. If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole? The FBI wants to steal my penis. Was your father a welder? Do you like tapes and CD's? You might not be a Bulls fan.. Because I've got a bone for you to examine. Do you have a mirror in your pocket? Take the symptom quiz. If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head? Wanna play Tic-Tac-Toe?

It is the second best thing you can do with your lips. So, what dating uk vs usa social media senior dating sites the chances of my balls slappin' your ass tonight? Did you just come from KFC, because your have thighs and breasts just gave me a drumstick. Because I have a sudden urge to plant you right here! Because I wanna phil you with my penis. Do you have a map, because I want to find my way into your pants. You might as well blow me instead, at least one of us will be happy. Because I've got a bone for you to examine. Are you? Let's go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply. Are you a raisin? I'm an interior decorator. Walk up to a female and look at her crotch then look at her face back to crotch to app happn pick up lines fox and say "Are you gonna eat that? Are your legs made of Nutella? Do you like bacon? I wanna go inside your wine cabinet and pull myself out a stiff one.

You have been very naughty. Wanna have sex? That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap next to my bed. I'm going to make you breakfast I have a big headache. That dress would look great on my bedroom floor! My biology teacher told me that the lips are the most sensitive part of the body, wanna find out if she was right? I may not have gotten your virginity, but can I at least have the box it came in? Do you like apples? I wish you were a screen door, so I could slam you all day long! Wanna play carnival? Now I know what flowers to put on your casket when I murder that pussy. Baby, I'm like a firefighter, I find 'em hot and leave 'em wet! Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?

Cause my dick is hard for you Babe, are you an elevator? Hi, I'm gay. Excuse me, I am about to go masturbate and needed a name to go with the face. Because you can jack it when we get back to my place" I call my dick the truth because bitches can't handle it Looking at a girls ass Rich sugar daddies dating uk is tinder for hookups does this bus go anyway? Well, in that case, will you blow my mind? Do you like Ramen Noodles? Cause I can tell you wanna be rolling in the D. If I were a Nintendo cartridge would you blow me? Because I can see myself in your pants. What's the biggest moving musle in a womens body. You're so hot, even my pants are falling for you! Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?

Tell you what? Cause your Breasts I making my drumsticks so weak. Are you a shark? Want to take part in my exchange program? Are you from Ireland? Because I'd love to tap that ass. Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply. Would you like to try an Australian kiss? Do you wanna do something that rhymes with 'Truck'? You must be yogurt because I want to spoon you. My nuts. It is the second best thing you can do with your lips. Wanna play Tic-Tac-Toe? The word of the day is "legs. My tits are bigger than your so I can breast feed if we have children. Guy: During the day, they're on you Before I hit on you, do you have a problem with large genitalia?

Because you can jack it when we get back to my place" I call my dick the truth because bitches can't handle it Looking at a girls ass Where does this bus go anyway? You know I live a Magnum Lifestyle Were you conceived on a sofa? Can I have yours? One of my friends told me girls hate oral, do you wanna help me prove him wrong? My fridge is full of your favorite breakfast food for when you wake up underneath me. Don't let me die! Roses or daises? Wanna make like scarface and say hello to my little friend Hi! Do you think you can convert me? Sorry, I haven't got any, how about a cock?